Witchblade #1, digital edition (November, 1995)

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What’s Inside:

Police detective Sara Pezzini and her boobs are pulled into supernatural adventure and stumble upon the magical artifact known as the Witchblade. Millionaire Kenneth Irons holds a Cinderella-esque audition to find the bearer of the powerful gauntlet, and it ultimately chooses Sara’s boobs.

The book is drawn by Michael Turner, one of the top boob artists of the ‘90s. I have yet to figure out if the book is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, and therefore attempting to make some commentary about the objectification of women in comics (after all, the Witchblade actually rips Sara’s clothes off whenever she uses it), or if it was reliant upon that very objectification. I would prefer to assume the former.

Writer: David Wohl

Artist: Michael Turner

Publisher: Top Cow (Image)

Why I Kept This Issue:

Well, I didn’t. I honestly have no idea what happened to this issue, but I purchased the digital copy as a replacement recently. I purchased the digital copy because, despite the book’s arguable problems, I could always see the potential in the premise. It was a simple concept that could go far. It seems like it did go far, since the book is still ongoing, and I intend to catch up, thanks to the advent of digital comics.

Attached Memory:

I read this issue in high school the same day that I asked Stephanie out.

Comics in the ’90s were full of boobs. Every female character had outlandish boobs. This is what I grew up seeing. The male readership, presumably, was obsessed with boobs. Or maybe it was just the artists. I was pretending to like boobs at this time in my life. I was trying to convince myself that I liked boobs. Stephanie did not have boobs though.

Stephanie and I were both stage hands for the school musical. I had not accepted the fact that I was gay at the time, so I convinced myself that what was actually just a fondness for Stephanie was some kind of romantic attraction, because I wanted to be straight dammit! I waited for the right moment, and I asked her out to a movie.

Stephanie panicked and, literally, ran away from me. Soon, she sent her friend Emily to speak for her and tell me she thought I was a great guy but she just wanted to be friends.

I should have recognized I was gay when I found myself not at all disappointed or hurt by this. I was very indifferent and just went on with my evening. If it had been a genuine crush (with a man, of course), my teenage heart would have been devastated.

I also should have recognized I was gay when I came home to read this first issue of Witchblade and cared more about the character than I did about her boobs. Straight guys like boobs, and gay guys like boobs too for some reason. They seem to find them fascinating and will often paw at them like kittens. But I have never found boobs interesting, although some of my favorite characters have big ones. Maybe I like them and don’t realize it? Boobs are complicated.

Condition of My Copy: Long lost, but now I have the digital edition in my Comixology account, so I can enjoy Sara’s boobs from my tablet.

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