Batman Sonderheft: Eiszeit (November, 1998)


Dry Heaving:

One of my teammates from my track and field team in high school had German parents. David and his sister would visit Germany annually, and returned with this little gem as a gift for me one year. I loved them both for it.

David was one of the leaders on the team. He was varsity, an upper classman, but even more importantly he was fucking hilarious. He never failed to generate a laugh when the chips were down, and we all admired his spirit. His sidekick was a Mormon kid whose name was, well, I forget. The two of them used to become afflicted with pretend kidney stones and would pretend pass them at random moments.

There were also some guys on the team who weren’t so nice to me. They thought I was weird and creepy and a dork and treated me as such. One day, David, his sidekick, and I were having a deep discussion which derailed into the topic of masturbation, as teenage conversations are wont to do. This convo led to a confession from me that I had been masturbating since I was six years-old, many years before puberty. They were startled and impressed with this information.

“So, wait,” David said, “that is way young, there’s no way. You mean, you could orgasm without ejaculating?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Holy shit!” David burst in excitement, and then dragged me over to our aforementioned teammates who weren’t so friendly towards me.

“Guys,” he said, “you gotta hear this. This guy dry heaved as a kid. Tell ‘em what you just told us about dry heaving.”

So, feeling mousey, I repeated my words, expecting to be chastised. The entire group burst into laughter, but after a few moments I realized that they weren’t laughing at me; they were laughing with me!

I received a some friendly fists to the shoulder, a few of the guys telling me I was “cool, dude” and from that moment forward they, somewhat ironically, stopped looking at me like I was a freak. All it took was…being a freak, I guess.

What’s Inside:

This is a German reprint of the comic adaptation of the animated film Batman: Sub Zero. In this story, Mr. Freeze kidnaps Batgirl for her rare blood-type, intending to harvest her organs to save his dying wife. This straight-to-DVD movie was released to coincide with the film Batman and Robin and benefit from that movie’s success, but anyone would agree this is far superior.

Writer: Kelley Puckett

Artist: Joe Staton

Publisher: Dino Comics

Condition of My Copy: Dieser Deutsche Comic ist in exzellentem Zustand und sehr sauber, trotz meiner ständigen Masturbation.